Link injects Heroin in the Water Temple
by Starkller919
Summary: Link does a terrible oopsie as he is offered liquid heroin in the Water Temple.


**This might be one of my more wacky and more stupid fanfics I'll ever do. Don't be like Link and inject heroin into your body. Don't do drugs kids. Legend of Zelda is a property of Nintendo, and I do not hold any rights for this franchise. Please support the Legend of Zelda franchise. **

**Link Injects Heroin in the Water Temple:**

Link was finally in the Water Temple, after defrosting the King Zora from a near death experience, it was finally time to do the water temple so that he can save the world from the darkness of the evil King Ganondorf. He was awarded a blue tunic, which can be used to breathe underwater.

"Hey Link, I think you should wear that blue tunic and wear those iron boots to access the water temple," Navi said to Link.  
"Yeah I know, I know this shit already, no need to remind me 'mom', is there a moment when you could just shut the fuck up, and let me lead?" Link said in agitation.

" Okay then you naive piece of shit. Why the change of attitude?" Navi asked Link.

" I dunno, I just want to get this journey over with, is it bad for me to say that I do not feel like I'm worthy to even think like this? I'm pretty entitled to myself, but being the chosen one to save the world from evil, it's fucking dumb. But someone's gotta do it and I'm this far, but I feel like this isn't my responsibility," Link said in a tone of confusion.

" Let's not think about that and finish this damn temple!" Navi demanded to Link.

Link hesitated, rolled his eyes, and wore his iron boots with his blue tunic on Navi's command as he entered the Water Temple underwater.

Link took a really good look in the temple, he moaned and groaned.

"Alright Navi, what is the jist of this temple? It looks like I might have to change the water levels, and that seems really fucking annoying," Link said with sass.

"Well it looks like there are these Hylian symbols if you play a certain song in front of these symbols, then the water level would change, but you can only change it to a certain level with each of these I think, the color of these symbols make me think that there are more of these symbols around the temple, 5 symbols I say at most?" Navi said with some hesitation in her tone.

"Well fuck me and call me the King of Evil, let's go, I had enough bullshit in my life," Link said with frustration.

As Link explored the Water Temple, slashing enemies with his new Biggoron sword he spent days trying to get. Eventually he found Princess Ruto for some reason.

"What the fuck? Ruto, w-w-what the hell are you doing here?" Link exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, it's you, my love, my husband!" Ruto exclaimed as she jumped up and hugged Link.

"Really now? What the actual fuck? Why are you here?"

"Cause I anticipated that you would come here, my love,"

"And you want me to marry you?"

"Not before you finish this temple, but first I got something for you, for what you did to calm Lord Jabu-Jabu" Ruto hands Link a syringe filled with a yellow colored liquid.

"Uh...What is this?" Link asked obviously in suspicion.

"It's liquid heroin, you inject the syringe into your body, and it enhances your reflexes and makes you much faster, thought you might need it, considering the feats from you are doing from what I have heard from people,"

"Really now, where did you find something this?"

"I found some opium poppies near Lake Hylia, took those poppies to the profesor, and he converted the poppies into liquid heroin, it's some pretty strong stuff, you should gather some after the water temple. Personally I haven't injected this heroin in my body, but from what I heard from some locals, it really helps a lot of problems,"

"Well, thanks I guess, I'll think on the marriage for a bit, is that fine with you?"

"Sure! You seem to be in a lot of stress, so once you made your choice, we can make some arrangements, but for now I gotta go, sorry for being so sudden, but there are some other problems I have to handle within the temple, goodbye my love," Princess Ruto said as she dived into water and vanished.

"Man Navi, love is fucking weird, as a child, I never really knew the true definition of love when I was living with the Kokiri people, sure I kind of had a thing with Saria, but her love is much different. Do you know what true love is Navi?" Link asked staring at Navi.

"Not at all Link, I'm a fairy for crying out loud, you are aware that I am a fairy right?"

"Enough of this chit-chat, we gotta go do this temple," Link said as he ascended the interior of the temple.

After a bunch of puzzle solving and slashing of many, many enemies, and almost flushed out, Link found himself in a empty room with a tree in the dead center of it.

"What even is this place?" Link asked himself

"What the hell is a tree doing in the center, I have a feeling that something bad is gonna happen,"

As Link approached the tree, a black figure appeared before him, literally resembling him. In utter shock, Link pulled out the vial of heroin out of his pocket and proclaimed,  
"That's fucking it, I had enough of the bullshit this temple has, I'm going to let the power of this heroin power me, I had enough of these fucking mini bosses,"

"Wait Link, before you inject the heroin into your vein, maybe you could-" Navi tried to explain to Link.

"Shut the fuck up bitch. I had enough of your fucking antics, I'm fucking exhausted and I want this shit to be over with. It's my fucking duty, I don't need any strategies for this fucking battle, now come on!" Link exclaimed as he injected the heroin into his veins and immediately, Link felt an increase to his blood pressure, he felt powerful.

"Hell yeah, this is the shit," Link charged at the black figure with near sonic speed and slashed him in half with no time for the figure to react. Link hacked and slashed the black figure so many times that the fight was over before he could realize it. The fight was over. And in the next room, spawned a chest. Link instinctively knew that it was there, he ran into the room, broke the wall and broke open the chest with his bare hands, he ripped open the longshot, he presented his new longshot as his hands were literally bleeding almost being symbolic in a way.

"Uh..Link, don't you want to get your hand bandaged?" Navi said with concern for Link's well being.

"Fuck no, I'm completely fine Navi, now where is the boss room, my arms feel fucking heavy and shit, hahahahaha I love heroin, you should try some Navi," Link said before vomiting on the floor.

"Holy shit Link! You should go get a doctor, leave this temple!" Navi shrieked

"Shut the fuck up, again, let me complete this temple, that was only a small side effect, I'm fine Navi,"

"But Link?"

"No, I have to finish this fucking mission, you understand?"

"Fine, go ahead and finish the temple and die, I'm leaving you Link, that drug is blinding you," Navi said in pure anger as she flew out of the temple.

"Yeah fuck you, you fucking fairy, I didn't need your dumbass anyways! Hahahahaha! Stupid fairy," Link said with a lisp.

Link went out of the room and managed to find the boss room, which was blocked by spikes.

"Fuck those fucking spikes, I'm fucking god, with this fucking biggoron sword, I can kill anything, stupid designers, think that some spikes can get in my way. Hahahaha…" Link laughed as he nearly fell unconscious, and vomited again.

Link managed to climb over the spikes without even getting scathed. He used the hammer to smash the boss door open and smashed the moving spike objects and rushed into the boss room. There he encountered Morpha, The Giant Aquatic Amoeba.

"Bring it on mother fucker!" Link yelled as he charged towards Morpha, and with just a couple of brutal slashes and no longshot, he killed Morpha with ease, Link then proceeded to devour on Morpha's remains. Eating the meat like an animal as foam was coming out of his mouth, his pupils dilated. As Princess Ruto appeared before him, Link convulsed into a seizure.

Ruto obviously ran towards Link, "Holy shit, god damn it, no, no, no, this can't be happening!" Ruto tried to find a solution to save Link, but before doing so, his heart stopped beating and he died.

Princess Ruto cried and cried before Link's dead body, "I should have never gave you that heroin, I realized how terrible of a person I am, I barely even know you Link, I am so sorry that this had to happen to you! Fuck, fuck, fuck I hate myself for it, I was blinded by love and lust for you. Why am I this desperate for you and only you! I was about to tell you that I am the sage of this very Water Temple, guess I'm too late for that,"

She later brought Link's body for the whole kingdom of Hyrule to see, since Link is dead, Hyrule was certain to be doomed, and a era of darkness was sure to rise. All because Link overdosed on liquid heroin. The Hero of Time, died from heroin overdose.

**THE END **


End file.
